Every beer page needs some quotes, so here they are. Suggest additions!
A woman is a lot like a beer,they smell good,they look good,and you’d step over your own mother to get one.Homer Simpson
Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.Dave Barry
Filled with mingled cream and amber I will drain that glass again.
Such hilarious visions clamber through the chambers of my brain –
Quaintest thoughts – queerest fancies come to life and fade away:
What care I how time advances? I am drinking ale today.Edgar Allan Poe.
It was as natural as eating and, to me, as necessary. I would not have thought of eating a meal without drinking a beer.Ernest Hemingway
Life, alas, is very drear. Up with the glass! Down with the beer!– Louis Untermeyer (1885-1977)
There are more old drunks than there are old doctors.Willie Nelson
All right, brain, I don’t like you and you don’t like me – so let’s just do this and I’ll get back to killing you with beer.Homer Simpson
You can’t be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline – it helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer.Frank Zappa
If you ever reach total enlightenment while drinking beer, I bet it makes beer shoot out your nose.Jack Handy
“Beer, Norm?”
“Have I gotten that predictable? Good.”Norm Peterson, “Cheers”
“What’s going on Mr. Peterson?”
“A flashing sign in my gut that says, ‘Insert beer here.’”Norm Peterson, “Cheers”
Women. Can’t live with ’em…pass the beer nuts.Norm Peterson, “Cheers”
“Pour you a beer, Mr. Peterson?”
“Alright, but stop me at one…make that one-thirty.”Norm Peterson, “Cheers”
“Can I pour you a beer Mr. Peterson?”
“A little early isn’t it, Woody?”
“For a beer?”
“No, for stupid questions.”Norm Peterson, “Cheers”
I would kill everyone in this room for a drop of sweet beer.Homer Simpson
Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beerDave Barry
Always do sober what you said you’d do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.Ernest Hemmingway
A woman drove me to drink and I didn’t even have the decency to thank her.W.C. Fields
Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink I feel ashamed. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn’t drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, “It is better that I drink this beer and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver.”Jack Handy
I feel sorry for people who don’t drink. When they wake up in the morning, that’s as good as they’re going to feel all day.Frank Sinatra
Work is the curse of the drinking class.Oscar Wilde
When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.Henny Youngman
Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.Benjamin Franklin
The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.Humphrey Bogart
People who drink light “beer” don’t like the taste of beer; they just like to pee alot.Capital Brewery, Middleton, WI
When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. Sooooo, let’s all get drunk and go to heaven!Brian O’Rourke
I drink to make other people interesting.George Jean Nathan
An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools.For Whom the Bell Tolls, Ernest Hemmingway
You’re not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.Dean Martin
Always remember that I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.Winston Churchill
My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn’t need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle.Henny Youngman
Somebody left the cork out of my lunch.W.C. Fields
All other nations are drinking Ray Charles beer and we are drinking Barry Manilow.Dave Barry
Give my people plenty of beer, good beer, and cheap beer, and you will have no revolution among them.Queen Victoria
Beer makes you feel the way you ought to feel without beer.Henry Lawson
I have a total irreverence for anything connected with society, except that which makes the road safer, the beer stronger, the old men and women warmer in the winter, and happier in the summer.Irish novelist Brendan Behan
For a quart of Ale is a dish for a King.Shakespeare, A Winter’s Tale
A mouth of a perfectly happy man is filled with beer.Ancient Egyptian Wisdom, 2200 B.C.
Good ale, the true and proper drink of Englishmen. He is not deserving of the name of Englishman who speaketh against ale, that is good ale.George Borrow, Lavengro, 1851
Show me a nation whose national beverage is beer, and I’ll show you an advanced toilet technology.Mark Hawkins in the New York Times, 1977
When money’s tight and is hard to get and your horse has also ran, when all you have is a heap of debt … A PINT OF PLAIN IS YOUR ONLY MANFlann O’Brien (Myles Na Gopaleen)
Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world.Kaiser Wilhelm
Oh, Lisa, you and your stories: Bart’s a vampire, beer kills brain cells. Now let’s go back to that…building…thingie… where our beds and TV… is.Homer Simpson
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